I have been thinking a lot about why I am fat. I am ready to make a change to start feeling better about my body and the world that it lives in.
In order to do this, I know that I will have to make some major lifestyle changes. Before I can really commit to this giant leap, I would like to determine why I over eat. What is my soul hungry for that I keep replacing with food?
Through this blog, I am going to record how I feel before and after I eat. This may not be fun, or pretty, but it will be honest.
I have always been an over eater. I derive so much pleasure from eating. My earliest memory of eating for no other reason than because I wanted to taste, I wanted to eat, was a summer when I was about 8 years old. I remember taking three or four of these Italian breakfast cookies and eating them outside in the front yard. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, that's why I was hiding it in the front yard. Ever since I was a little girl, a lot of shame is associated with food.
Not that it has ever stopped me.
Part of me feels that if I can uncover the shame that I feel about my body and the events that cause me to over-eat then my body can recover and heal from the abuse I have put it through over the years.
I am only twenty-three and I want to once and for all lose some poundage. No surgery, no diet programs. Just me. I have tried Weight Watchers, and it worked for a while. I have tried South Beach, and that worked for a week or two.
Can I quit over-eating cold turkey?
